Over the past few months, I have been meeting with the most wonderful group of young women. Every week, we all do our bests to meet together to read a chapter out of a book. We have spent a lot of time laughing, some more time crying, and this week, we spent an entire chapter learning about God's ways of romancing our hearts.
"I have loved you with an everlasting love," Jeremiah explains (31:3).
"How beautiful you are, my darling," Song of Solomon whispers (1:15).
"Therefor I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her," Hosea promises (2:14).
"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride," Song of Solomon confesses (4:9).
At first it was weird for me to think that God, who also loves me as his child, also wants to romance my heart. My mind has been so confused by the age in which we are living that it seemed unnatural for God to love me "as a Lover loves," as Captivating by Jon and Staci Eldredge purports. The more I think about this concept, though, the more it ministers to my soul. I have always wanted someone to love me for me and not who I pretend to be, hope to be, or have the potential to be. God is, has, and always will love me in this way though. I don't have to be anyone else, just the girl in the tattered, worn out, and comfortable jeans.
When I was a little girl, I longed to be a princess. I thought that princesses had it good. I mean, the first part of their lives usually sucked, yet they were rescued by a prince who proved his love for them and spent the rest of their existence in "happily ever after." Even though I "knew" it was not a possibility for me to live a fairy tale, my heart always longed for it. Today, however, I realize, that I do live a fairy tale, or rather, a fairy tale copied my story. I have a prince. This prince gave up his life for me before I was old enough to love him the way he deserves (Ephesians 5:25). He has since been patiently waiting for me, to love my soul, heal my heart, and to give me my "happily ever after."
Right now is the time for the princess that is hard. The evil witch (aka that jerk Satan) has cast a spell on what would have been a perfect existence, what would have been a world that would never leave her heart longing for something more, where depression, anxiety, and disappointment did not exist. These are the hard times, my sisters, times where we must persevere through our suffering. These are the times where we wait "expectantly" for our prince to show up. Why do I wait? Because I know he is coming for me.
But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the LORD; (NASB)
I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me. (NLT)
Micah 7:7 (mix matched)
This message is not just for women, though. God wants to romance all of our hearts. Staci and Jon talk about the ways in which God has romanced each one of their hearts. It seems that God chooses special ways to romance each of us. God sent Jon a whale whereas he sent Staci a field of star fish (p. 116 and 117 in Captivating).
God sends me love songs. He tells me that I am enough even though this world does everything it can to tell me otherwise ("Who Will Love Me For Me" by JJ Heller). He tells me that my emotions are not too much for him and that he wants to be there for me even when I feel lost and confused, even when I question his reasonings ("Times" by Tenth Avenue North). The Love of My Soul tells me that he sees so much more in me than I see in myself ("The Truth About Me" by Mandisa), that when I forget who I am he will remind me I am his beloved ("Remind Me Who I Am" by Jason Gray), and that even though I am "Judas' kiss" that betrayed him to die, he still loves me, reagardless of performance ("You Love Me Anyway" by Waidewalk Prophets). Jesus tells me that I am more than the poor decisions I have made and the mess I have made of my life ("You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North) and that he will never give me anything that he cannot handle, although alone, I will have trouble ("Strong Enough" by Matthew West). He tells me that he is the ying to my yang ("The Boat Song" by JJ Heller), that he has never left me alone and that my past will not define my future ("7x70" by Chris August), and that despite the ugliness I have embodied, he will unveil the beauty in me ("Beautiful Things" by Gungor). Of most importance to me, though, Jesus tells me that even though my heart is often weighed down by the love I have for hurting people in the midst of their inner battles, he has already fought and won the war ("Battle" by Chris August).
For now, I survive on love songs, but they are each precious to me. Each one of these has been my "Soul Song" at one point or another over the past two years. The day will come though when the Lord will take me home and I will feel my worth and his love all the time. My heart longs for it while at the same time I also pray for more time to finish my work here on Earth.
